Barbara Ehrenreich and Arlie Hochschild argue that migrant mothers who work abroad for their families sacrifice everything but are oppressed regardless. She describes the life of one migrant nanny and afterwards state that “nannies like Josephine bring the distant families that employ them real maternal affection, no doubt enhanced by the heartbreaking absence of their own children in the poor countries they leave behind.” This sentence tore my heart. In order to become the independent breadwinner, they abandon their children, aging parents, and homes. They either go into childcare, homemaking, or sex. They provide all the skills that would have otherwise been invested in their own families, but they are expected to not belong in the family but work separately.
Since wives of richer regions are taking on jobs outside the house, they, therefore, need a replacement woman in the house to carry out all the tasks that are associated with the wife’s role. The author states that this is a form of modern imperialism. She gives an example, saying that “an earlier phase of imperialism” when northern countries extracted raw materials and natural resources from the lands they conquered. I found this comparison rather interesting because it makes me understand that hiring a maid from another country is like extracting homemaking services from overseas. This just seems wrong, and I find her comparison somewhat disturbing because it makes me think of what else was extracted from conquered countries – slaves! However, migrant works are different because they are paid for the services they provide to the richer people. But the decision is sadly not an option for many, like Josephine, who could either live with her children in poverty or make money by living away from her family.
Prior to reading this article, I had never thought about what it meant to be a migrant caregiver, nanny, or maid. It is physical labor as well as emotional effort. There is a great deal they sacrifice in order to support their family financially and to improve the material side of their child’s life. The author makes me believe that working in a foreign country away from your family enslaves you to a family while being restricted from your own. The image below represents a migrant woman who works for the family but does not have the privilege of feeding her own children, but instead, she made food for the family and cleaned the house. While the mother of this household can feed her own children, this migrant woman cannot. The obstacles mentioned in her article stir in me sympathy for these mothers and also makes me feel grateful for my parents who did not have to leave the country for work.
In fact, my aunt came from Europe and was hired as a maid. She had to take care of a large American family but she had to leave behind her daughter and husband and now their family is divided. So, when the author states that the distance and separation of the working mother affect her family, it is true and I have witnessed it in my family. The author gave the example of a nanny’s children who were suicidal and poor in school. My cousin was never like that but her bond with her parents are shattered permanently, just like their bond with their daughter, and their bond with each other as the people who brought her into the world. In search for a hopeful answer, I’m wondering, is it possible for migrant nannies to have strong relationships with their children despite not physically being there for them?
I agree with you that it is extremely heartbreaking to hear about families breaking apart, so women can support their families back home. I think you're right about how these migrant workers are just like slaves. Just because they're getting paid doesn't mean they necessarily have freedom from their employers. Just like how our other reading, Global Women, mentioned how most women migrants get their passports taken away or are controlled by their employer about their whereabouts after work hours. And to answer your question, I don't believe that migrant domestic workers can ever truly have a strong relationship with their children since they're so far away. My grandmother was a migrant worker in the United States while my mother was in her late teens in Poland. It was very difficult for my mother and her family without her mother's input in the community and family problems durning this time. However, my mother was basically an adult at this time and she could cope. But imagining a small child without their mother in important times will cause a huge rift between mother and child.
ReplyDeleteGuilia, your blog post has really hit home. I come from a family of immigrants where mothers and fathers leave they children to go to another country for work. It is depressing to hear that children from varying ages are left with grandparents or other family members where the love given to them is not the same as parental love. I agree with you on how women are oppressed even after giving everything to provide food to the table for their families. The families they work for could be gruel and abuse them emotionally and physically. They risk their lives for their children to have a better life, yet that mother-dauhther or mother-son bondage gets broken. I have an aunt in Mexico that works as a housekeeper and the last time I visited, she was only able to have dinner with me because she needed to get back to work. Mind you this was on the weekend. I was bewildered because she could not spare a few more hours to hangout and converse with other family members. In regards to your question, it all comes down to the choice of the family that hires a foreign maid/nanny. As much as these mothers would like to keep a strong relationship with their children, if they are not allowed to visit their country or call them, how can they? At this point, they can only hope their children understand the choices she has made to benefit them in the long run.
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ReplyDeleteHi Giulia! First of all, I fully agree on your statement that foreign women are not expected to be invested in their family, but work for another family. In these situation, it is truly heartbreaking and unfair that these women have to leave their families. In my view, it's kind of like a double edge sword. While they can prevent their families to go into poverty and support them, but they sacrifice their life so that their families can be financially stable and their children to live more better lives.
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